Avoidance is the Problem, not your Feelings

            I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who was frustrated with the treatment he received from a therapist who was supposed to be addressing his trauma. This therapist had him list out all his triggers so that he knew which situations to avoid. It seems like good enough advice, right? These situations make you feel bad, so avoid them, and you will feel better. The only issue is these go against everything we know about reducing trauma symptoms. Avoidance is the problem, not the triggers that you experience.

            First and foremost, you can’t avoid your triggers. Let’s rip that band-aid off right now. If your goal with your trauma is never to feel that activation again, you are going to become a hermit and then still get hit with intense fear signals within your home. Acceptance of this fact is crucial to your successful recovery.

            My friend was surprised to see me get fired up at this approach, so I wanted to explain in more detail why it was such bad advice. With any anxiety disorder, but especially trauma-related ones, avoidance is the fuel to the flames of intrusive symptoms. Suppose our brain is constantly scanning the environment for threats and sending fear signals whenever we experience any stimuli related to trauma. In that case, our avoidance is the feedback our nervous system seeks. So, our limbic system says, “Oh wow, when we set these alarms off, it changed their behavior. These must be critical messages; let’s send more”. Now, as the kids would say, we are cooked.

            The other feature of trauma is the way that it distorts our thinking, and we start to believe those thoughts. We begin to think we are powerless and hopeless, and our risk assessments of the world are skewed. Our behavior is how we learn that those thoughts are not the reality of the situation. Exposure and discomfort are the fertilizer for new learning and growth. These skills empower clients to become their own therapists in the long term, reduce their symptoms, and begin to thrive again.

            If this sounds overwhelming to you, do not worry. This process stays collaborative the entire time. We are going to set a pace that works for you. You are already experiencing your trauma symptoms throughout the day. We are just organizing it and exposing you to it in a controlled setting to allow you to reestablish a sense of peace in your life. The good news is that these interventions are EXTREMELY effective at reliably reducing your symptoms. Don’t keep putting it off; you owe it to yourself to seek relief.